~ireneism 3

If someone takes the time to share an idea or memory...take the time to listen. Nothing is more important than when someone invites you to be part of them. ~ireneism

~ireneism 2

I have come to understand that no one does anything to me or against me; If I become offended or hurt- it is because I have decided (consciously or unconsciously) to perceive something outside of my control as having control of my reaction to it.  ~ireneism

~ireneism 1

If you are searching for someone to love you unconditionally- start with the mirror. ~ireneism 

Roadmaps to the Future: Avoiding the potholes!

Engaging in Life  Series

                         With    Irene Teesdale  CLC



"I was 10 yesterday and tomorrow I will be 50, who knew that getting caught up in life would cost me 40 years of living?"

For many of us, life seems to go by just that fast!   We suddenly find ourselves dealing with a new stage of life in a very ambiguous context. The meaningfulness of family, home, belongings, travel, community, and ties to the land, all emerge. In negotiating these issues, people also have to deal with a number of conflicting American values, including the tensions between freedom and responsibility, autonomy and rootedness, and adventure and security.  Our culture lacks a clear model of what retirement and later life are supposed to be about, how older people should think of themselves, and how they are to be thought of by others.  

How do older individuals confront decisions about how to live, where to live, who to live with, and what to live for?  We are a generation of men and women who want to define retirement rather than letting retirement define us.  The eight-week seminar will examine, discuss and play with the various patterns that emerge in the phases of retirement, relationships between person and place, housing, finances, health and purpose-full-living during this time of transition.

March 5 – Roadmaps to the Future: Life is a journey; it’s better to have a map!
March 12 – Don’t Retire – Re-create!  You can reinvent the wheel.
March 19 – Traveling Down De-Nile: Making healthy choices for a healthy future.
March 26 – Creative Living Spaces: Cut the clutter and rediscover your space.
April 2 – Practical Financial and Living Solutions: Affordable options that make sense.
April 9 – How to Talk to Your Senior Parent: The tough stuff: downsizing, medical concerns, etc.
April 16 – Care for the Caregiver: Helping the selfless maintain a sense of self.
April 23 – Living on Purpose: Finding a new path; living with intention.

Sessions meet in the Imaginary Studio at the Creative Center

900 Sixteenth Street, Greensboro, NC 27405

Monday evenings, at 7PM.

$10. per person

Space Limited

Register now at EngagingInLife@aol.com or call Irene at (615)962-0096

I sat my boys down when they were 7 and 8. I asked them if they knew what "adoption" meant.

They said yes, "when you pick a baby or kid to be yours because you want to love them forever".

I thought that was beautiful. So I said..."one of you is adopted"- before I finished geting the words out my older son pointed at the younger and said, "It's him."

The young one jumped with glee shouting, "Is it me? Is it me?" He was so excited that we had chosen him. (and I am too)!   
We adopted him at birth and big brother is 11 months older!

Sometimes we find out things aren't exactly as we thought, sometimes it's even better! It is all in how you want to frame the new information. 

Who is Caring for the Caregiver?

Medical advances are enabling people to live longer. In the last one hundred years life expectancy in the U.S. has risen from 30 to 78 years of age. However, living longer increases the risk of debilitating diseases. Approximately 7.3 million Americans need assistance with one or more daily care activity. Over 78% of adults living in the community depend on family and friends to assist with their need of long-term care. In 2004, 30% of persons caring for elderly were aged 65 or over; another 15% were between the ages of 45–54. In 1999 nearly 22.4 million people had provided informal care to a relative or friend age 50 or older and in 2009 it rose to 43.5 million; this care can necessitate leave of absence from work; 50% of extended leaves involve care of a relative. Caregiving responsibilities can create overwhelming physical, financial and emotional strain on the caregiver and the community. As the boomer generation ages the difficulties of the caregiver will only increase as the number of elderly swells to heights never experienced before.

·         Two-thirds of the more than 4 million working family caregivers caring for elderly spent 40+ hours per week caring for a family member, and 1.6 million spent 20-40 hours a week (U.S. Dept. of Labor, 1998).

·         Nearly 3/4 of the caregivers are woman and 41% have one or more children under age18 living in the home (DHHS, 2007; MetLife, 1997, p9).

·         In 2010 about 54% of all workers will become caregivers at a projected cost of $11.4 billion per year in lost production (MetLife, 1997, pp7&33).

·         The cost in lost wages is estimated at an average of $109 per day, and has an estimated economic value of $196 billion for services rendered, and a loss of as much as $3 trillion in caregivers’ pensions and Social Security benefits (Arno, Levine, & Memmott, 1999; MetLife, 2011; Stucki, & Mulver, 2000).

·         36% of caregivers are vulnerable and have difficulty providing care. Up to 27% report physical difficulties, and their mental health is compromised as well (MetLife, 2011; Navaie-Waliser, et al. 2002).

·         The dependence on informal caregivers can form a stressful and potentially unsafe environment for both the caregiver and the care receiver (Navaie-Waliser, et al. 2002; Reinhard, et al., 2008).

With 43.5 million informal caregivers providing s services valued at $450 billion in 2009, losing $3 trillion in wages and related benefits, and up to 50% of caregivers meeting the criteria for major clinical depression, better caregiver support systems must be put into place. A specific plan needs to be  developed for caregivers that partners with health and social service administrations across state departments, healthcare systems, community-based service organizations, work and family organizations, advocates, research facilities, and consumers to ascertain challenges, opportunities and system-changing plans with yearly evaluations to incorporate family caregivers within systems of care.

Think things through...

 A few years ago my neighbor's little girl (age 5) had a crush on both of my sons (then ages 5 and 6). One day she informed her mother that she loved them and was making plans on marrying both of them! Her mother told her that she couldn't do that, because it was against the law. She would have to chose just one. This news made the little girl very sad, and ran off her to her room in tears.

After some time had passed and she had given the situation some thought she came back to her mother- beaming with joy she proclaimed, "Fine then- I will marry Chandler!"  

"That's nice." her mother said with a grin.

"... Yup! ...and Cameron can be my boyfriend!"   

When you want something the only thing limiting you are the options you don't consider!

Did you know that HUGGING is vital to your health?

Psychologist Karen Grewen conducted a study at the School of Medicine at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill.

Research studies have shown that the blood pressure levels in people deprived of contact with their loved ones soared. Hugging releases oxytocin in the brain and that daily dose of oxytocin-laced hugging protects us from heart disease.

When the researchers tested the levels of oxytocin after a hug, both men and women showed an increase. However, the researchers also discovered that all of the women had reduced levels of cortisol following the hug. Cortisol is another hormone produced by the adrenal glands that is part of the body’s response to stress. The fact that the women participants’ cortisol levels were significantly lower means that females are especially responsive to the calming effects of a hug-- proving that a hug a day can go a long way to keeping a woman you love heart healthy.

So don’t wait another minute, give your loved a hug… and by all means, make it a daily practice!