“When it's time for your transition out of this earthly world, what will you be remembered for?” A friend of mine posted this question on Face Book this morning and it brought a smile to my face, as a memory warmed my heart. So get your favorite beverage and cozy up to your computer, it’s story time: As a young adult in my twenties I never gave much thought to this topic. After all it is a well known fact amongst the younger set that we are going to live forever.
I was married and had 4 beautiful children ages 6months,17months,9 and 10years old. we lived in a log cabin in the woods and had a dog named Bo. Life was good!! One afternoon I received a phone call informing me that a dear friend of mine had just died. Needless to say it hit me hard; she was my age with a wonderful husband and had two darling little boys. How could this happen and why? I looked at my family and was so grateful for them… but after a few weeks of sadness… life went on as usual.
As my life was getting back to its normal chaos, my arm had swollen so I went to the doctor. They did an ex-ray and ran some tests. About a week later they called me; it’s funny how one moment can change the course of you entire life! I was told that I had Lupus. It was the same disease that had killed my dear friend just a few months before. I was in shock. I couldn’t cry, eat, or sleep, I couldn’t function at all, the only thing I could do or wanted to do was watch my children. And I did; every moment… I watched them play, eat, and sleep. For two entire weeks I would sit in their room all night and watch their quiet little bodies gently rise and fall with each precious breath. I took notice of every detail of their angelic sleeping faces.
At the end of the second week my husband stepped in and called the doctor. I was killing myself, before the Lupus could. The doctor prescribed some sleeping pills and my husband made sure I took them. I didn’t think I could ever sleep again, but I slept for almost 3 days. I don’t recall dreaming, but when I awoke, my life was completely different. I had a feeling of peace and contentment; there was a clarity about my life, and an acceptance about death.
Prior to this I had been a neat freak (think female Felix Unger), there were neither dust-bunnies, nor kitchen-corner-crumbs in my house, the children and my husband’s clothes were always impeccably cleaned and pressed. I ironed the sheets, pillowcases, and even the cloth napinkin's (that were washed daily). I never said “No” to anyone when asked for a favor, I clipped coupons and shopped for groceries at three different stores to save the most money. I was as perfect as any woman could be.
The question came to mind, “If I die today what will my children remember about me?” Perhaps something like; “We always had clean clothes.” Or “The house was always so neat and tidy.” I realized they probably wouldn’t be able to say anything about who I was… they didn’t know me! I had spent so much time trying to be perfect that I never took the time to just be me. Now I could see everything so clearly: This was a wondrous awakening, I didn’t need to be perfect to be perfect!
So, I set the bunnies free to roam about the house, and had a food fight across the dinner table with my children. I'll let the clothes have the wrinkles, and I’ll charish the laugh lines. I don’t have to do everything for everyone; letting them find their strength is a gift. And saving a few dollars won’t buy me more time.
Although what you think of me is none of my business, I just hope I leave this earth a little happier and with a little more light and love than when I arrived.
I was married and had 4 beautiful children ages 6months,17months,9 and 10years old. we lived in a log cabin in the woods and had a dog named Bo. Life was good!! One afternoon I received a phone call informing me that a dear friend of mine had just died. Needless to say it hit me hard; she was my age with a wonderful husband and had two darling little boys. How could this happen and why? I looked at my family and was so grateful for them… but after a few weeks of sadness… life went on as usual.
As my life was getting back to its normal chaos, my arm had swollen so I went to the doctor. They did an ex-ray and ran some tests. About a week later they called me; it’s funny how one moment can change the course of you entire life! I was told that I had Lupus. It was the same disease that had killed my dear friend just a few months before. I was in shock. I couldn’t cry, eat, or sleep, I couldn’t function at all, the only thing I could do or wanted to do was watch my children. And I did; every moment… I watched them play, eat, and sleep. For two entire weeks I would sit in their room all night and watch their quiet little bodies gently rise and fall with each precious breath. I took notice of every detail of their angelic sleeping faces.
At the end of the second week my husband stepped in and called the doctor. I was killing myself, before the Lupus could. The doctor prescribed some sleeping pills and my husband made sure I took them. I didn’t think I could ever sleep again, but I slept for almost 3 days. I don’t recall dreaming, but when I awoke, my life was completely different. I had a feeling of peace and contentment; there was a clarity about my life, and an acceptance about death.
Prior to this I had been a neat freak (think female Felix Unger), there were neither dust-bunnies, nor kitchen-corner-crumbs in my house, the children and my husband’s clothes were always impeccably cleaned and pressed. I ironed the sheets, pillowcases, and even the cloth napinkin's (that were washed daily). I never said “No” to anyone when asked for a favor, I clipped coupons and shopped for groceries at three different stores to save the most money. I was as perfect as any woman could be.
The question came to mind, “If I die today what will my children remember about me?” Perhaps something like; “We always had clean clothes.” Or “The house was always so neat and tidy.” I realized they probably wouldn’t be able to say anything about who I was… they didn’t know me! I had spent so much time trying to be perfect that I never took the time to just be me. Now I could see everything so clearly: This was a wondrous awakening, I didn’t need to be perfect to be perfect!
So, I set the bunnies free to roam about the house, and had a food fight across the dinner table with my children. I'll let the clothes have the wrinkles, and I’ll charish the laugh lines. I don’t have to do everything for everyone; letting them find their strength is a gift. And saving a few dollars won’t buy me more time.
Although what you think of me is none of my business, I just hope I leave this earth a little happier and with a little more light and love than when I arrived.
So, “When it's time for your transition out of this earthly world, what will you be remembered for?”
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